Bad things happen to all of us. We can’t escape it. It may feel “hard” to live your life alive when something bad has happened and you just can’t seem to deal with it. It’s not about what happens to you, it’s about your attitude towards it that matters. But is there more to it? I believe there is more. We can try to control our reactions and emotions in how we react. However, if we go a little deeper and make a decision on how we “frame” the event that occurred, it doesn’t take as much effort to control the reaction or our attitute towards it.
Framing is the thought process people use to define a situation and decide how they are going to deal with it. Reframing is doing this over again in a different way.
When we reframe an event we can approach the reaction from a different place. Therefore the reaction itself is coming from a different place which changes everything. For example, deciding a conflict, you are experiencing, can be approached in a positive (or “win-win”) way, rather than a negative (or “win-lose”) way. Or is there a place where you felt rejection or abandonment and it is causing you to be stuck or believe negative things about yourself? What about those situations that just aren’t fair? If you can “reframe” it, you can approach it or accept it from a different place. For example: If you didn’t get hired for a job that you really wanted because you felt like it would be a great opportunity. You immediately feel rejected and believe that maybe you’re not as qualified as you had thought. Or you can “reframe” it and tell yourself, “That must not be the job for me and the right one is right around the corner.”
When we tell ourselves stories that serve us, we can live more alive regardless of what happens to us. This doesn’t mean to live in “la-la land” and not see reality and make adjustments as needed, but telling ourselves stories or excepting stories other tell us that do not serve us, is not only foolish, but can take us down. Telling ourselves a story about a situation in a negative frame can also cause us to hesitate or even paralize us towards progressing forward. What if these negative stories pile up and you start to believe them? How can you live your life alive and be the best authentic YOU?
What story do you play over and over in your head and can’t seem to shake? Could your write it down and reframe it? Try it and watch the shift happen. It is very powerful!